


to fall apart; to put together

by rowansberry (amarowan)



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Fantasy High
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Freshman Year, That's it, fabian is sad and riz helps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25909282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amarowan/pseuds/rowansberry
Summary: Fabian Aramais Seacaster is famous for being strong; for being brave; for being courageous in the face of fear and cutting down those that obstruct his path. Fabian Aramais Seacaster is strong and he is proud.Fabian is not known for being weak. For being found in broom closets much too small, tears streaming down his face. But if Riz finds him doing exactly that - well. That won't do.ORin which fabian hurts a lot more than he lets on, and riz is the one to let him know that sometimes it's okay to cry.
Relationships: Riz Gukgak & Fabian Aramais Seacaster, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster, can be platonic or romantic reader's choice
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	to fall apart; to put together

If Fabian was being perfectly honest, he didn’t know how Riz found him. 

Long ago did he master the art of crying silently, letting tears stream down his cheeks as he bit down on whatever was on hand to stifle the gasps and sobs that come from deep in his chest until the overflowing wells within him were run dry. Long ago had he ventured into the darkest, shadowed corners of both Aguefort Adventuring Academy and the halls of his own home to make sure no one would ever see him in his weakest moments. And besides, it had been months since that fateful battle against Kalvaxus — any hints of suspicion or concern over his state of being should have faded by this point.

Yet somehow, Riz Gukgak found him in the abandoned janitor’s closet in the far west wing of the school, subjecting himself to the truly pathetic sight of Fabian curled up on the floor, the sleeve of his battered and worn letterman’s jacket the only barrier between the sobs held deep in his chest and the open air. Fabian unclenched his teeth from the fabric, swiping at his eyes quickly before glaring at Riz the best he could when for once Riz was the one on higher ground. 

“Fabian, are you— are you okay?” Riz asked, and Fabian tried to ignore the rising shame in his chest, knocking into him like a great wave. He was supposed to be the  _ strong _ one, goddamn it! And of course it was The Ball that caught him at his lowest.

“I don’t see why it matters,” Fabian said, all too aware of how rough and shaky his voice was. Riz opened his mouth, but Fabian didn’t want to hear the pity he was sure would be leaving his lips. “You won’t mention this to anyone, right?” 

He didn’t mean to, but his voice wavered on the last word, catching in his throat as he tried to spit out something intimidating and strong and full of bravado, (as he always is,) and ending up with something  _ weak _ . Inwardly, Fabian winced, because now he was going to get it for  _ sure _ , but Riz just squeezed into the remaining floor space in the closet, closing the door behind him. 

Riz didn’t say anything for the longest time, just pressed his tiny body against Fabian and waited as Fabian sniffled pathetically and wiped the remainders of his tears off his face and got control of his lungs again. “Sometimes,” he said, voice quiet enough that Fabian could barely hear, “sometimes it all hits me again, in the dead of the night. That my dad won’t be there for the first day of school, or senior prom, or graduation, or my first date. And it still hurts, even after all these years. Like ripping a scab off a still-healing wound.”

Distantly, Fabian wondered how Riz could tell this was about his papa. Riz continued, “Just because it hurts again doesn’t mean you’re weak. This isn’t something you can just strongarm through.” 

All Fabian could see in the dim light were Riz’s eyes, big and wide and open as he looked up from beside him. (And he would never tell anyone this, but they were rather pretty, somehow shining in the darkness like little emeralds set in stone.) “The only reason it hurts so much is because you cared, Fabian. If your heart was ripped from your chest, no one would say you’re weak for crying if it hurt — why can’t you let yourself say the same for this?”

Riz reached his hand towards Fabian, soft fingers resting gently against his cheek as he gently wiped a tear away. Fabian placed his own hand atop Riz’s, eyes meeting his as the tears flowed a little more freely, the weight on his chest not nearly as strong. Inside of him, a dam broke, everything he had forced deep into himself rushing to the surface all at once, chest wracked with deep sobs, the waterfall from his eyes seemingly never-ending. Somehow, despite the nearly two-foot height difference between the two of them, Fabian ended up crying into the worn fabric of Riz’s vest, his arms around Fabian in a tight embrace. “It’s okay,” Riz said, voice barely more than a murmur, a gentle whisper right by Fabian’s ear, gracefully not complaining about the tears staining his vest or the way he, Fabian Aramais Seacaster, was curled up in the closest thing to fetal position he could get while in the arms of his best friend. “It hurts, and that’s okay, and one day it’ll hurt a little less, and everything will be okay.”

And because it was Riz, Fabian couldn’t help but believe it. 

_ Everything is okay. _

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to jay for convincing me to post this when i remembered i had it sitting in my drafts for no good reason! sometimes i forget that back in april i did a writing prompt challenge where all the prompts were going to be for fabriz drabbles and that i can, in fact, post/work on ideas that i came up with then
> 
> find me on twitter as [rowansberrie](https://twitter.com/rowansberrie) and tumblr as [rowansberry!](https://rowansberry.tumblr.com/)


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